Addison

In the 7th grade I asked this girl to the dance. I didn’t like her really, but my friend said he was gonna ask her and I was a small machiavellian sociopath so I asked her myself. She had big tits. For a 7th grader.

She was a blonde white girl, kind of looked like a creepy American Girl Doll. Most of her face was okay, but she had this unfortunate nose that sloped way upwards like a pig. I probably looked directly at her face three times across all our interactions (not because she was particularly unattractive, but because I was unconfident and 11). 

Unfortunately, she thought that because I asked her to the dance, we were dating now. And I didn’t know how to tell her that we weren’t, so I just never did. We barely ever talked, but to her, we were dating. I remember actively avoiding her. Mostly due to my own insecurity, but also because I was truly not interested. This either lasted for a few weeks or a few months. Then she moved away and I haven’t really thought about her until now. 

The reason I think about her now is because I have this same problem today. A girl will think we’re dating (nowadays because I tell them that), but in my mind we’re not. And so I live my life as if we’re not and allow her the fantasy of that for herself to live out and enjoy. It’s cruel but it’s easier than breaking up with somebody. Why am I like this.