Don't listen to me

Listen to yourself: your own inner voice. Don’t chase what your parents want for you or what your friends want or what your boyfriend wants or what some counselor in 10th grade wanted for you, chase what YOU want for you. 

Maybe to learn what that is you have to try a lot of different things. Pay attention to how you feel. If you’re lucky, eventually you’ll find something that makes you feel alive. It’s scary, but it’s a good scary. You’re trembling with excitement. You feel like this matters. You feel in place. The constant nagging in your brain finally quiets for a moment and you are one with the activity. With the mission. You can't feel your ass in the chair. That’s your thing. 

But where do I find the time? I can’t focus! I’m too tired.

Cut the fat. There is likely much more fat in your life than it seems. Any friend who does not provide value: fat. People who suck your energy and use you as a sounding board for their shitty stream of consciousness one sided therapy sessions: fat. People who you have nothing in common with but you cling to in order to be less alone: fat. Cut the fat. Don’t leave everyone and be fucking psycho, but I think you might find yourself with a lot more time to become your own person if you ditched your shitty friends. Maybe they’ll become their own person too.