groceries

Here’s how messed up I am: I will go buy some groceries, take them home, and throw them in the trash. This is how i stay in shape. 

Why? at the store I think: I can handle ice cream. I deserve ice cream. I was good today. And then when I get home I think: Why did I buy this literal poison for myself. I am lactose intolerant. This will definitely make me sick and give me acne. And it’s got Jimmy Fallons face on it. Why? The tonight dough, real funny. Fuck that guy and his insane fake laugh. I will save my future self and throw it away. Freshly sealed.