the grocery store self check out machine:

you’re not stealing groceries are you, you stupid too poor for grocery delivery in 2022 piece of shit?

me: NO!!!! NO!!!!

the machine: YES YOU ARE!!! PLEASE PLACE ALL ITEMS IN THE BAGGING AREA!!!!

ME: I FUCKING AM!

the machine: NOT SO FAST! I’M CALLING A CUSTOMER SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE!

the customer service representative: sorry it does that

me: yeah