candy

it’s one of those days where i hide in the bathroom and cant face myself in the mirror because i know i would be absolutely disgusted by what i see. 

i feel physically sick. and it’s not like the flu. it’s a stomach sickness i inflicted upon myself by eating a third bag of swedish fish. candy. literal poisonous candy. i never do that. what the fuck is wrong with me right now. i can feel the acne festering under my skin. my stupid prize.

i’ve been eating candy all weekend. this whole trip is candy: no nutritional value. nothing about this is improving me. this girl is candy. this place is candy. i want to vomit but i can’t.

but i know, 24 hours from now, i’ll be sitting in my little apartment feeling a different kind of emptiness. the lonely version i get when i fail to make plans for myself on a weekend afternoon.

it hurts so bad. i gotta get back. i just drink water and i eat to survive.