Growing up ugly

and feeling it in the way people saw you and being unable to shake that feeling despite all present-day signs pointing to the opposite 

now that you’ve matured and become fit and smart and smooth and are conventionally physically attractive in the prime of your life by almost all measures

but you just can’t believe it when they compliment you. you dig for any reason why you’re not. even when your 20-year old boyfriend thomas johnston tries desperately to communicate this to you every single day, you just can’t believe him and you spend all your free time thinking of reasons why he might be lying to you about this impossible fact