Laptops

The only thing I miss about my old laptop is that it was small enough to type covertly on airplanes. 

And also the fact that it was gifted to me by The Gromet Foundation, one of the many scholarship awards I received for being a “low-income” student who happened to be able to regurgitate facts well in High School

As opposed to my current laptop, which was gifted to me by the HR department at my first full-time job, equipping me with all the tools I need to “thrive” in our modern-day remote-work environment.

I miss my old laptop because it was gifted by people who didn’t want anything back in return. People who, for really no good reason at all, decided that they would devote hundreds of thousands of dollars to help financially unfortunate teenagers from Hawaii bear the ridiculous cost of college. 

I miss my old laptop is because my new one is a jail cell. If I quit this job, I have to forfeit this $2000 behemoth along with it and go back to the painfully slow piece of crap that is only good for typing covertly on airplanes. 

It’s my birthday. I’m 24. Typing on an airplane.