Sensitive Young Man

when i heard people were ‘watching porn’ i thought that was it, people just liked ‘watching porn.’ i had never seen cum before. the first cum or ejaculation or whatever I ever saw was my own. i was horrified. it was a life-shattering surprise. more surreal than any dream. an unprecedented surge of adrenaline, like i had just killed a man. i’m not exaggerating. i had no idea what the fuck just happened. i would not say that it felt ‘good.’ I immediately thought: god, i’m never doing that again.