If I could go back to USC

All I would do is write. I would start over, from the very beginning, unashamed, major in Creative Writing, tell people that I wanted to be a Writer, Write every day, Every night. 

Fuck Philosophy, Fuck Politics, Fuck Law School, Fuck Psychology, Fuck Computers, Fuck Everything that isn’t Writing Words on Paper. 

I spent 4 years failing to decide what to “do with my life.” I had a different story for every person I knew. It was always incoherent but it didn’t matter because they were naturally focused on themselves.

I didn’t start writing for fun until my final semester, deep into Quarantine, when I realized Oh, Shit, this is what I should’ve been doing the whole time. 

And before you say: Well hey, it’s never too late, why don’t you do that right now? I would interrupt you and say that is exactly what I am doing right now. But it is, in fact, too late. 

It’s too late to go back. I find myself fantasizing about showing up to college as a 24 year old man and owning all those 18 year kids at everything. Sports. Class. Social Life. Everything that would’ve been useful to be good at as a Freshman comes naturally with age. I’m so confident now. When my dad visited me at school he told me this: Youth is wasted on the young.