Maybe

Maybe you fucked those girls only for others to see that you did, or that you could, and there was never really any passion or love in it at all. 

Maybe they were just accessories to your endless presentation of You.

That guy Chris will never forgive me. I keep doing bad things and then looking back on them and thinking: That’s gotta be the worst thing I’ve ever done. And then I do it some more. Keep hurting people — excessively, thoroughly, over and over again. 

Not people close to me. People who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.