Visiting Hawaii

5 minutes till we land in Hawaii. All around me white people yell and cheer emphatically, literally bouncing in excitement, so totally pumped to be touching down in my own personal hell. The place that made me the way that I am. Paradise.

Hitting a hard bout of turbulence and hearing the young mother in front of me go Whee! with her kid and imagining, hoping actually, that a freak gust of wind sends the cabin into a barrel roll, displacing entire rows of loud happy families, tossing us around like a big meaty human salad. Bodies fly everywhere. Bones are broken. Skulls impacted. Whee!