the elephant

yesterday at zoo with friends. struggle to repress dark thoughts.

we get to the elephant. it’s in jail. dark dirt room with big roman pillars. we view it from behind huge glass screen. it stands there sadly. most humanoids are unphased. they comment on its funny trunk. 

i’m staring at this big sad creature. staring directly into the void. my friends are ready to move on. i’m silently communicating with the elephant via ESP. i tell him that i feel the same way, all day inside. staring at a screen. wanting to thrash around and break free but knowing it’s pointless. enduring those vacuous stares all day. always under surveillance. moving like you’re underwater. that slight grip in your chest — drowning all the time. i want to touch him. i can’t tell why i think he’s sentient in a way the other animals aren’t. some look in his eyes. we’ve been locked for several minutes now. 

friend comes over and says hey lets move on. i’m like okay. but i could stare at this thing all day. for the same reason i get caught up in sad tv shows.