Internet Addiction

theres no such thing as an “internet addiction,” mom. the internet is everything. it would be like saying you have a “life addiction.” it’s redundant.

until it isn’t. until you’re losing your job, your girlfriend, your apartment, your car, everything you own, because you can’t control your use of the world wide web. until all your loved ones you keep “checking in” to “see how you’re doing” because they don’t trust you on your own in that room with that damn screen. 

and they’re right. because it’s true: you can’t control yourself. you can’t stop Checking.  

actually, it’s just me. This is about me. I can’t stop checking. I can’t stop checking the likes and comments and bookmarks on my videos and on my writing and I can’t stop checking the time and the temperature and the group chats and my email and instagram and facebook messenger to see if i got any messages today…

and all this fucking Checking makes it impossible to focus on any one thing for long enough to make something GOOD! So I make nothing good, and everything’s bad, and all the Checking leaves me feeling I’m sucking the straw from a dry cup all day. I'm a mouse pulling a lever in a psychology experiment.