Thomas Johnston is Worst Boyfriend Ever
Apathetic Narcissistic Schizophrenic Half Autistic Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
formerly had a Substack known as
Raised By Screens
Raised By Screens405 complete original posts•151 later Substack links
December 2020
Résumé
One-page résumé mirrored from the public Acadium profile artifact.
Open the full résumé PDF ↗Complete local copies
Medium · thomas-sky
Both articles exposed by the author’s public Medium feed, preserved here as readable clean-room copies.
Profiles and campus record
Background
Public pages connected to Johnston's USC years, writing, résumé, and Smash activity.
↗Acadium profile and résuméCopywriting, digital marketing, USC education and listed experience↗↗Sack of Troy author archiveSix credited satire pieces from 2020–2021↗↗Conquest 2019 told in GIFsUSC Annenberg coverage naming Thomas “Aloha” Johnston↗↗SC Smash brings college teams to the yardUSC Annenberg coverage of the collegiate Smash team↗↗AdmitSee · thomas1738USC, Philosophy and Hawaii profile↗
Résumé highlights
USC B.A. in Philosophy with a Marketing minor (2017–2021); Sack of Troy staff writer; USC Smash Club social media communications director; USC Child Interviewing Lab research assistant.
Complete local mirror · 2021–2024
All my words · tsjohnst
The complete original Blogspot archive that preceded Raised By Screens, preserved as locally readable posts with embedded media mirrored on this site.
Eavesdropping Mid 30s tinder first date to my immediate left. I want to kill them both. So what do you do for work? They investigate each other: are you good enough for me. She speaks like a Kardashian…February 3, 2024→Birthday's coming up!i’m turning 25 in a couple weeks. i won’t stop getting older. less innocent. less beautiful. less new. less prodigious. less mature for my age. less promising. less fun. less valuable. i…December 14, 2023→Trusti sold this guy my car for $800. hood smashed open. i didn’t take the plates off. i trusted him because he looked like my dad. and because his facebook was full of pictures of him holding…December 8, 2023→Real EstateHow did that simpleton get so rich? Real Estate. Buy a place where people can live. Rent it out. Free money forever. Pay other people to manage the property for you. You pay a few people 60k…December 5, 2023→trader joes potato saladjust awful. look, i’m an adult. my life sucks. i only have three things to look forward to every day. lunch, dinner, and sex. those are the three times i experience joy. everything else is…November 27, 2023→About Mebaby i’m sorry i’m like this. i’m sorry i don’t want to spend every day together like i used to. i’m sorry we’re not doing anything on thanksgiving. i’m sorry for making you so frustrated.…November 23, 2023→bossman says he wants me to talk morebut when he pauses for my input i can only speak for about 8 seconds until he cuts me off. this may just be how men of business communicate. i want to say: i will listen to you because you…November 23, 2023→dear everyonedear everyone from college dear every online friend dear every single girl dear everyone i never called back dear everyone who was nothing but good to me dear every relative i never got to…November 20, 2023→the case against friendshipmom, i’ve already promised like 6 people i’d call them. i think about it every day. i hate calling people. even if i like the person. i have nothing to say. feels like the more i give the…November 15, 2023→Seeing Many 'Friends' Ads LatelySome guy in Advertising: Guys. Matthew Perry just died. Condolences to his family of course, but is this not a perfect opportunity to increase the budget on our FRIENDS campaign?? Promote…November 8, 2023→The Way that I LookI ’ve had it too good for too long. i’ve been able to think of myself as more or less physically attractive for the past several months now. having a girl helps. but yesterday i was watching…November 2, 2023→hey man hows it goingwhats up? how are you? how are things? give me a call when you’ve got a second. my dad: hey buddy, give your mother a call my mom: ya gotta call ya sista my sister: are you talking to mom…November 1, 2023→
Browse the complete 405-post archive →Raised By Screens · 2024
Recovered writing
One complete post, three homepage excerpts, and one complete public Note survived in web archives.
Do You Like This StoryComplete archived post · May 20, 2024→here's how i cheated on the SATRecovered excerpt · April 26, 2024→Men Only Want One ThingRecovered excerpt · April 22, 2024→I am greedy. I want money. Only money will make me happy.Recovered excerpt · May 20, 2024→In the cafe, as alwaysComplete archived note · June 10, 2024→USC · 2020–2021
Sack of Troy
Six credited satire pieces published while Johnston was a USC student writer.
South Rises AgainSack of Troy · Aug 26, 2020↗
Tesla Autopilot Swerves Elon Musk Into Oncoming TrafficSack of Troy · Sep 15, 2020↗
You Think You’ve Suffered From the Pandemic?Sack of Troy · Oct 20, 2020↗
Roommates Meet for First Time After Router MalfunctionSack of Troy · Nov 19, 2020↗
‘Researchers Find’ Makes Headline Sound More OfficialSack of Troy · Nov 25, 2020↗
Trump Horrified to Learn Last Four Years Were RealSack of Troy · Jan 14, 2021↗Historical sitemap
Raised By Screens archive
Every post URL preserved in the publication’s May 2024 sitemap. Titles are shown where recovered; otherwise the original slug is formatted for reading. Catalog-only links may now return 404.
Do You Like This Story2024-05-20 · Complete archived post
I am greedy. I want money. Only money will make me happy.2024-05-20 · Recovered excerpt
Sensitive Young Man Goes Viral2024-05-01 · Catalog link
here's how i cheated on the SAT2024-04-26 · Recovered excerpt
Heres How To Disappear2024-04-25 · Catalog link
How To Get Adderall2024-04-26 · Catalog link
Men Only Want One Thing2024-04-25 · Recovered excerpt
Political Street Signature People2024-04-22 · Catalog link
Digimarcon2024-04-24 · Catalog link
The Child Testimony Lab2024-05-03 · Catalog link
La Makes You Vain2024-04-25 · Catalog link
Lying And Scamming2024-04-25 · Catalog link
Drugs2024-04-25 · Catalog link
I Remember Just One Professor2024-04-09 · Catalog link
Eras2024-04-08 · Catalog link
When I Was 11 I Used This Site Every2024-04-07 · Catalog link
The Internet Is Full Of Garbage2024-03-28 · Catalog link
Physical Touch2024-04-22 · Catalog link
Writing2024-03-25 · Catalog link
Dad2024-04-07 · Catalog link
The End Of An Era2024-03-21 · Catalog link
Its Adderall Every Time2024-04-23 · Catalog link
The Best Feedback A Writer Could2024-04-27 · Catalog link
Coffee Dates2024-02-28 · Catalog link
The Essay Contest2024-03-14 · Catalog link
Coming Soon2024-03-28 · Catalog link
Future Ceo2024-03-17 · Catalog link
Trust2024-03-05 · Catalog link
About Me2024-03-21 · Catalog link
Dear Everyone2024-03-08 · Catalog link
The Case Against Friendship2024-03-21 · Catalog link
Sleeping In The Trunk2024-02-11 · Catalog link
I Have Sunken Eyes2024-04-25 · Catalog link
Eavesdropping2024-02-29 · Catalog link
My First Speeding Ticket2024-02-11 · Catalog link
30 Minute Lunch Break2024-03-21 · Catalog link
The Morning Commute2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Why I Did Weed2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Thrift Stores2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Becoming Employed2024-02-11 · Catalog link
My Parents Never Taught Me How To2024-03-12 · Catalog link
The 100 Bill On The Ground At The2024-03-12 · Catalog link
College Parties2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Gina2024-03-12 · Catalog link
The Opposite Of A Praise Kink2024-03-21 · Catalog link
Hey Man Hows It Going2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Fake Id2024-03-21 · Catalog link
Visiting Hawaii2024-02-11 · Catalog link
National Girlfriend Day2024-03-21 · Catalog link
The Recruiter2024-03-14 · Catalog link
Bubble Waffles2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Kpop2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Internet Addiction2024-03-21 · Catalog link
Found Love2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Feelings2024-03-17 · Catalog link
I Used To Get Spray Tans2024-03-12 · Catalog link
If I Could Go Back To Usc2024-03-12 · Catalog link
I Care Too Much About How Im Dressed2024-02-11 · Catalog link
Modafinil2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Oh My God2024-03-18 · Catalog link
Social Anxiety2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Home Invasion2024-03-12 · Catalog link
No Judgment In The Mosh Pit2024-03-12 · Catalog link
I Lost 8 Months Of Writing2024-02-11 · Catalog link
This Story Has No Payoff Its Just2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Human Conversations2024-02-14 · Catalog link
Weed Made Me A Sports Chad2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Rm8 And The Crowd2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Typing In Public2024-02-14 · Catalog link
Sensitive Young Man2024-03-12 · Catalog link
I Am A Feminist2024-03-27 · Catalog link
The Gym2024-03-17 · Catalog link
Snickeldorf Is An Emotional Terrorist2024-02-14 · Catalog link
Why Aa Works2024-02-14 · Catalog link
About Me2024-02-14 · Catalog link
The Best Seat In The House2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Driving In The Snow2024-02-29 · Catalog link
Unfortunately2024-02-15 · Catalog link
My Barber Andy2024-02-15 · Catalog link
Manic Pixie Dream Girl2024-04-25 · Catalog link
The Best Moment Of My Life2024-03-21 · Catalog link
Coming Out2024-03-16 · Catalog link
Noble Silence2024-03-17 · Catalog link
Anxiety Medication2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Fast Food Slavery2024-02-28 · Catalog link
The Joy Of Local Level Competitive2024-03-03 · Catalog link
Dating Addiction2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Fire Me2024-02-15 · Catalog link
Eye Contact2024-02-29 · Catalog link
Valentines Day2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Phone And Laptop2024-02-29 · Catalog link
The Swat Team Busted Down My Door2024-03-21 · Catalog link
The People I Zoom Work With2024-03-03 · Catalog link
Poda2024-03-17 · Catalog link
Diesel2024-03-12 · Catalog link
That Funny Moment2024-03-12 · Catalog link
The Worst Thing Ive Ever Done2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Real Estate2024-03-17 · Catalog link
Why I Hate The Jews2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Sometimes2024-03-21 · Catalog link
Adderall Xr2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Ad Agency2024-03-21 · Catalog link
I Cant Take A Compliment2024-03-15 · Catalog link
Acting2024-03-10 · Catalog link
Those Who Matter Dont Mind2024-03-08 · Catalog link
Advertising2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Weed2024-03-12 · Catalog link
The Boy2024-03-21 · Catalog link
Teenage Love2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Nice Girl2024-03-12 · Catalog link
The Male Urge2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Growing Up Ugly2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Dining Alone2024-02-11 · Catalog link
Living In Not The City2024-03-10 · Catalog link
Thomas Johnston Is Late Again2024-03-10 · Catalog link
Netanya2024-03-15 · Catalog link
Bittersweet2024-03-10 · Catalog link
I Lost My Wallet In Vegas2024-03-10 · Catalog link
What Are You Up To Man2024-03-10 · Catalog link
I Dont Love2024-03-10 · Catalog link
Black Jack2024-03-10 · Catalog link
I Quit Dating2024-03-10 · Catalog link
Grocery Store Self Check Out Machine2024-03-11 · Catalog link
Fuck Off Nordvpn2024-03-11 · Catalog link
One Morbillion Dollars2024-03-11 · Catalog link
The Impostor2024-03-11 · Catalog link
The Plight Of The Ugly2024-03-15 · Catalog link
Thomas Sky Johnston Gallo2024-03-15 · Catalog link
Sarah2024-04-25 · Catalog link
Type Casted By The Tsa2024-03-11 · Catalog link
Weed2024-03-15 · Catalog link
Politics Is For Losers2024-03-11 · Catalog link
Comedy2024-03-11 · Catalog link
The News2024-03-11 · Catalog link
Bombing2024-03-08 · Catalog link
Modern Youtube2024-03-15 · Catalog link
The Sopranos2024-03-11 · Catalog link
The Spectrum2024-03-21 · Catalog link
Drunk Texting2024-03-11 · Catalog link
Self Reflection2024-03-11 · Catalog link
Weirdo2024-03-11 · Catalog link
Girls From Hinge2024-03-15 · Catalog link
Typical Tuesday Night2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Da Club2024-03-11 · Catalog link
Drugs2024-03-15 · Catalog link
First Class2024-03-15 · Catalog link
The Tonight Dough2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Stealing From Amazon2024-03-12 · Catalog link
I Hate Anime2024-03-12 · Catalog link
What Weed Does2024-03-15 · Catalog link
All My Writing Is Gone2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Public writing and credited work · Sources linked at each item
Verified accounts
Social profiles
Confirmed active accounts linked to Thomas Johnston through public data.