Thomas Johnston
Apathetic Narcissistic Schizophrenic Half Autistic Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Raised By Screens151 archived post links•7 recovered works
December 2020
Résumé
One-page résumé mirrored from the public Acadium profile artifact.
Open the full résumé PDF ↗Complete local copies
Medium · thomas-sky
Both articles exposed by the author’s public Medium feed, preserved here as readable clean-room copies.
Profiles and campus record
Background
Public pages connected to Johnston’s USC years, writing, résumé, and Smash activity.
↗Acadium profile and résuméCopywriting, digital marketing, USC education and listed experience↗↗Sack of Troy author archiveSix credited satire pieces from 2020–2021↗↗Conquest 2019 told in GIFsUSC Annenberg coverage naming Thomas “Aloha” Johnston↗↗SC Smash brings college teams to the yardUSC Annenberg coverage of the collegiate Smash team↗↗AdmitSee · thomas1738USC, Philosophy and Hawaii profile↗
Résumé highlights
USC B.A. in Philosophy with a Marketing minor (2017–2021); Sack of Troy staff writer; USC Smash Club social media communications director; USC Child Interviewing Lab research assistant.
Raised By Screens · 2024
Recovered writing
One complete post, three homepage excerpts, and one complete public Note survived in web archives.
Do You Like This StoryComplete archived post · May 20, 2024→here's how i cheated on the SATRecovered excerpt · April 26, 2024→Men Only Want One ThingRecovered excerpt · April 22, 2024→I am greedy. I want money. Only money will make me happy.Recovered excerpt · May 20, 2024→In the cafe, as alwaysComplete archived note · June 10, 2024→USC · 2020–2021
Sack of Troy
Six credited satire pieces published while Johnston was a USC student writer.
STSouth Rises AgainSack of Troy · Aug 26, 2020↗STTesla Autopilot Swerves Elon Musk Into Oncoming TrafficSack of Troy · Sep 15, 2020↗STYou Think You’ve Suffered From the Pandemic?Sack of Troy · Oct 20, 2020↗STRoommates Meet for First Time After Router MalfunctionSack of Troy · Nov 19, 2020↗ST‘Researchers Find’ Makes Headline Sound More OfficialSack of Troy · Nov 25, 2020↗STTrump Horrified to Learn Last Four Years Were RealSack of Troy · Jan 14, 2021↗
Historical sitemap
Raised By Screens archive
Every post URL preserved in the publication’s May 2024 sitemap. Titles are shown where recovered; otherwise the original slug is formatted for reading. Catalog-only links may now return 404.
Do You Like This Story2024-05-20 · Complete archived post
I am greedy. I want money. Only money will make me happy.2024-05-20 · Recovered excerpt
Sensitive Young Man Goes Viral2024-05-01 · Catalog link
here's how i cheated on the SAT2024-04-26 · Recovered excerpt
Heres How To Disappear2024-04-25 · Catalog link
How To Get Adderall2024-04-26 · Catalog link
Men Only Want One Thing2024-04-25 · Recovered excerpt
Political Street Signature People2024-04-22 · Catalog link
Digimarcon2024-04-24 · Catalog link
The Child Testimony Lab2024-05-03 · Catalog link
La Makes You Vain2024-04-25 · Catalog link
Lying And Scamming2024-04-25 · Catalog link
Drugs2024-04-25 · Catalog link
I Remember Just One Professor2024-04-09 · Catalog link
Eras2024-04-08 · Catalog link
When I Was 11 I Used This Site Every2024-04-07 · Catalog link
The Internet Is Full Of Garbage2024-03-28 · Catalog link
Physical Touch2024-04-22 · Catalog link
Writing2024-03-25 · Catalog link
Dad2024-04-07 · Catalog link
The End Of An Era2024-03-21 · Catalog link
Its Adderall Every Time2024-04-23 · Catalog link
The Best Feedback A Writer Could2024-04-27 · Catalog link
Coffee Dates2024-02-28 · Catalog link
The Essay Contest2024-03-14 · Catalog link
Coming Soon2024-03-28 · Catalog link
Future Ceo2024-03-17 · Catalog link
Trust2024-03-05 · Catalog link
About Me2024-03-21 · Catalog link
Dear Everyone2024-03-08 · Catalog link
The Case Against Friendship2024-03-21 · Catalog link
Sleeping In The Trunk2024-02-11 · Catalog link
I Have Sunken Eyes2024-04-25 · Catalog link
Eavesdropping2024-02-29 · Catalog link
My First Speeding Ticket2024-02-11 · Catalog link
30 Minute Lunch Break2024-03-21 · Catalog link
The Morning Commute2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Why I Did Weed2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Thrift Stores2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Becoming Employed2024-02-11 · Catalog link
My Parents Never Taught Me How To2024-03-12 · Catalog link
The 100 Bill On The Ground At The2024-03-12 · Catalog link
College Parties2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Gina2024-03-12 · Catalog link
The Opposite Of A Praise Kink2024-03-21 · Catalog link
Hey Man Hows It Going2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Fake Id2024-03-21 · Catalog link
Visiting Hawaii2024-02-11 · Catalog link
National Girlfriend Day2024-03-21 · Catalog link
The Recruiter2024-03-14 · Catalog link
Bubble Waffles2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Kpop2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Internet Addiction2024-03-21 · Catalog link
Found Love2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Feelings2024-03-17 · Catalog link
I Used To Get Spray Tans2024-03-12 · Catalog link
If I Could Go Back To Usc2024-03-12 · Catalog link
I Care Too Much About How Im Dressed2024-02-11 · Catalog link
Modafinil2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Oh My God2024-03-18 · Catalog link
Social Anxiety2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Home Invasion2024-03-12 · Catalog link
No Judgment In The Mosh Pit2024-03-12 · Catalog link
I Lost 8 Months Of Writing2024-02-11 · Catalog link
This Story Has No Payoff Its Just2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Human Conversations2024-02-14 · Catalog link
Weed Made Me A Sports Chad2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Rm8 And The Crowd2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Typing In Public2024-02-14 · Catalog link
Sensitive Young Man2024-03-12 · Catalog link
I Am A Feminist2024-03-27 · Catalog link
The Gym2024-03-17 · Catalog link
Snickeldorf Is An Emotional Terrorist2024-02-14 · Catalog link
Why Aa Works2024-02-14 · Catalog link
About Me2024-02-14 · Catalog link
The Best Seat In The House2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Driving In The Snow2024-02-29 · Catalog link
Unfortunately2024-02-15 · Catalog link
My Barber Andy2024-02-15 · Catalog link
Manic Pixie Dream Girl2024-04-25 · Catalog link
The Best Moment Of My Life2024-03-21 · Catalog link
Coming Out2024-03-16 · Catalog link
Noble Silence2024-03-17 · Catalog link
Anxiety Medication2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Fast Food Slavery2024-02-28 · Catalog link
The Joy Of Local Level Competitive2024-03-03 · Catalog link
Dating Addiction2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Fire Me2024-02-15 · Catalog link
Eye Contact2024-02-29 · Catalog link
Valentines Day2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Phone And Laptop2024-02-29 · Catalog link
The Swat Team Busted Down My Door2024-03-21 · Catalog link
The People I Zoom Work With2024-03-03 · Catalog link
Poda2024-03-17 · Catalog link
Diesel2024-03-12 · Catalog link
That Funny Moment2024-03-12 · Catalog link
The Worst Thing Ive Ever Done2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Real Estate2024-03-17 · Catalog link
Why I Hate The Jews2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Sometimes2024-03-21 · Catalog link
Adderall Xr2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Ad Agency2024-03-21 · Catalog link
I Cant Take A Compliment2024-03-15 · Catalog link
Acting2024-03-10 · Catalog link
Those Who Matter Dont Mind2024-03-08 · Catalog link
Advertising2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Weed2024-03-12 · Catalog link
The Boy2024-03-21 · Catalog link
Teenage Love2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Nice Girl2024-03-12 · Catalog link
The Male Urge2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Growing Up Ugly2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Dining Alone2024-02-11 · Catalog link
Living In Not The City2024-03-10 · Catalog link
Thomas Johnston Is Late Again2024-03-10 · Catalog link
Netanya2024-03-15 · Catalog link
Bittersweet2024-03-10 · Catalog link
I Lost My Wallet In Vegas2024-03-10 · Catalog link
What Are You Up To Man2024-03-10 · Catalog link
I Dont Love2024-03-10 · Catalog link
Black Jack2024-03-10 · Catalog link
I Quit Dating2024-03-10 · Catalog link
Grocery Store Self Check Out Machine2024-03-11 · Catalog link
Fuck Off Nordvpn2024-03-11 · Catalog link
One Morbillion Dollars2024-03-11 · Catalog link
The Impostor2024-03-11 · Catalog link
The Plight Of The Ugly2024-03-15 · Catalog link
Thomas Sky Johnston Gallo2024-03-15 · Catalog link
Sarah2024-04-25 · Catalog link
Type Casted By The Tsa2024-03-11 · Catalog link
Weed2024-03-15 · Catalog link
Politics Is For Losers2024-03-11 · Catalog link
Comedy2024-03-11 · Catalog link
The News2024-03-11 · Catalog link
Bombing2024-03-08 · Catalog link
Modern Youtube2024-03-15 · Catalog link
The Sopranos2024-03-11 · Catalog link
The Spectrum2024-03-21 · Catalog link
Drunk Texting2024-03-11 · Catalog link
Self Reflection2024-03-11 · Catalog link
Weirdo2024-03-11 · Catalog link
Girls From Hinge2024-03-15 · Catalog link
Typical Tuesday Night2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Da Club2024-03-11 · Catalog link
Drugs2024-03-15 · Catalog link
First Class2024-03-15 · Catalog link
The Tonight Dough2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Stealing From Amazon2024-03-12 · Catalog link
I Hate Anime2024-03-12 · Catalog link
What Weed Does2024-03-15 · Catalog link
All My Writing Is Gone2024-03-12 · Catalog link
Public writing and credited work · Sources linked at each item